– A dog’s disposition stays the same all month long.
– A dog’s parents never come to visit.
– A dog’s time in the bathroom is limited to a quick drink.
– Anyone can get a good looking dog.
– Dogs are excited by rough play.
– Dogs can appreciate excess body hair.
– Dogs can’t talk.
– Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.
– Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
– Dogs don’t expect you to call them when you’re running late.
– Dogs don’t hate their bodies.
– Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their life.
– Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.
– Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dogs name.
– Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
– Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to your wallet, desk or sock drawer.
– Dogs love it when your friends come over.
– Dogs love long car trips.
– Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
– Dogs never want a foot rub.
– Dogs seldom outlive you.
– Dogs think you sing great.
– Dogs understand that farts are funny.
– Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
– Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
– No dog ever bought a Michael Bolton album.
– The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
– When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
– You never have to wait for a dog, they’re ready 24 hours a day.