Donald Trump is meeting The Queen, and he says to her: “As I’m the President, I’m thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I’m thinking that it should be a Kingdom.”
To which the Queen replies, “I’m sorry Mr. Trump, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge – and you’re not a King.”
Donald Trump thought a while and then said, “How about a Principality then?” to which the Queen replied, “Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince – and you’re not a Prince, Mr. Trump.”
Trump thought long and hard and came up with, “How about an Empire then?”
The Queen, getting a little pissed off by now replied, “Sorry again, Mr. Trump, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge – and you are not an Emperor.”
Before Trump could utter another word, The Queen said, “I think you’re doing quite nicely as a Country.”
An airplane was about to crash. There were four passengers on board but only three parachutes.
The first passenger said, “I am Steph Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me and I can’t afford to die.” So he took the first pack and jumped out of the plane.
The second passenger, Donald Trump, said, “I am the newly-elected US president and I am the smartest president in American history, so my people don’t want me to die.” He took the second pack and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, the Pope, said to the fourth passenger, a 10-year old school boy, “My son, I am old and don’t have many years left. You have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.”
The little boy said, “That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you. America’s smartest president took my school bag.”