Holmes And Watson

One day, Holmes and Watson were in the office and Holmes said, “Watson, we need to take some time of work and go on a camping trip.”

“Good Idea,” replied Watson.

So the next day, they trecked through the woods and came to a field. That was where they decided to set up camp.
They set up the tent and settled down for the evening.

Late at night Holmes was lying awake looking upward.
Holmes woke up Watson and said, “Watson, look up and tell me what you see.”

“Well,” he replied, “I see lots of stars, they are balls of gas burning billions of miles away.”

“No you dumb shit, someone’s stolen the fu*king tent!”

Giving Up Drugs

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.

Monday, the two guys were in court; and the judge said to the first one, “How did you do over the weekend?” “Well, Your Honour, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.” “17 people? That’s wonderful. What did you tell them?” “I used a diagram, Your Honour. I drew two circles like this