Tag: Story



Genie In A Bottle

One day this man and woman are playing golf at a golf course. So, the woman steps up to her ball and swings. The ball slices to the right and the two here the ball smash through a window.

They look at each other and the man says, “Well, we’d better go talk to the owner of the house and pay for the window. So the couple knock on the door and a man with a welt on his head dressed in funny clothes answers the door. The woman asks, “Oh, are you okay?”

The man says, “Yes, actually you released me, see I’m a Genie I’ve been trapped for 10,000 years, and for that I’ll grant you both one wish.” So the woman asks for a new wardrobe, and the man asks for one billion dollars every year for the rest of his life. Then the genie snaps his fingers and says, “There it’s done,” he continues, “you know a genie gets kind of lonely so if I could just have 20 minutes with your wife I’ll be happy.”

The couple discusses it and agree with it. After 20 great minutes of love making the genie and the woman come out and the genie asks, “How old are you miss, 20?” The woman replies, “Why yes!” “And how old are you sir?” “Fourty-three” “So, shouldn’t you know there are no such things as genies’?”

Pre-Marital Discussion

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to hit it off; they share each other’s values, enjoy the same jokes, and find pleasure in each other’s company.

After a few months, the widower asks for the hand of the widow in marriage. She appears hesitant and decided to probe her soon-to-be a little.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, bu t

Blonde Mother

There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde talking about their children. The red head said, “I am so dissappointed in my daughter. I walked into her room the other day and found a package of cigarettes on the ground … I can’t believe she smokes.”

The brunette said, “I know exactly how you feel. I walked into my daughter’s closet the other day and found an empty vodka bottle … I can’t believe she drinks.”

Then the blonde said, “I know exactly what both of you are talking about. I walked into MY daughter’s room and found an empty condom wrapper on the ground … I can’t believe she has a penis.”

The Preacher’s Pin

After church on Sunday, the Preacher approached a man. He said, “Sir, your wife has a tendency to fall asleep throughout my sermon. I’m going to give you this safety pin and everytime I wink at you, stick it into her side to wake her up.” The man gladly took the pin and planned to do as the preacher had asked.

The following Sunday, the man and his wife showed up to church. The preacher began to start his sermon. He said, “Do all of you know who was born of the Virgin Mary and became our Savior?” He suddenly winked at the man. The man quickly thrusted the safety pin into his wife’s side. She said, “Jesus Christ!” The whole congregation replied with, “Amen, amen.”

The Preacher continued..”And who died on the cross to free us from our sins?” He winked again. The man stuck his wife and she shouted, “JESUS CHRIST!” Again the whole congregation replied, “Amen, amen.”

The Preacher continued once more

Ladies Night

The other day, my friends and I went to a “Ladies Night Club.” One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.

When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek.

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill.

I’m worried about the way things are going, but fortunately she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks, again.

My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me! Now everyone’s attention is focused on me and the guy’s egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do?

Then the marketer in me took over!

I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home …

Grab My Breasts

A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a toaster for refund because it didn’t work. The clerk told her that he couldn’t give her a refund because she bought it on special.

All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, “Grab my Breasts! Grab my breasts!”

The clerk didn’t know what to do, so he called the store manager who asked her if he can help.

She explained that she wanted to return the non-working toaster for refund, and he told her that he would not give her a refund because she bought the toaster on special.

Once again she yelled, “Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!”

The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that particular phrase.

She replied, “Because I like my breasts grabbed when I’m getting screwed!”

Intelligent Child

Their was a teacher appointed for second grade. The teacher was also a psychiatrist. So she decided to test her abilities on the children by asking a question, “Whoever thinks that he or she is stupid, stand up?

But no one stood up immediately. But after a while one kid stood up.

The teacher asked, “Do you think that you are stupid?”

The child replied, “No maam but I hate to see you standing all by yourself.”