The Pope met with a Cardinal to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. “Your holiness,” said the Cardinal, “Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.” The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.
“Not to worry,” said the Cardinal, “we’ll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We’ll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres… We can’t lose!” Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.
Two days later, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. “I came in second, your Holiness,” said Nicklaus.
“SECOND?” exclaimed the surprised Pope. “YOU LOST TO SHIMON PERES?!!”
“No,” said Nicklaus calmly, “second to Rabbi Woods.”