1. American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”
2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
3. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
4. You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.
5. Long distance companies don’t call you to switch anymore.
6. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
7. Your rob Peter … and then rob Paul.
8. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
9. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
10. Your bologna has no first name.
11. You give blood everyday … just for the orange juice.
12. Sally Struther’s sends you food.
13. McDonald’s supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
14. At communion you go back for seconds.