A man was lost in the Chinese wilderness for three days without any food, drink, or decent sleep. When he found this little farm, he went up to the house and knocked on the door.
A little old man answered the door and asked him what the hell the guy was doing at his house. The man asked if he could stay the night, and the little old man said, “as long as you don’t go messin’ around with my grandaughter.”
“Sure!” the man says.
Well, that night, he DOES mess around with the grandaughter, and he wakes up the next morning with a big rock on his chest saying: since you messed with my grandaughter, I will give you the three words Chinese touture tests known to man. first, you start with a 50 kg rock on chest.”
“What a lame torture test.” the man said, dumping the rock out the window. On one side of the rock, it said, “Then, you tie the rock to right testicle.” So the guy jumped after the rock, and as he got nearer to the ground, there was a piece of paper bearing the painful words: “then, you finish with the left testicle tied to bedpost. Have a nice day.”