Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men!
-Women’s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
The best way to a man’s heart is to saw his breast plate open.
-Women’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign, IL
Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.
-Men’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign, IL
Beauty is only a light switch away.
-Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
-Armand’s Pizza. Washington, DC
Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?”
-Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
-The Irish Times. Washington, DC
In a washroom in Ann Arbor, Michigan someone wrote:
My mother made me a homosexual.
Under this, someone scrawled: If I got her the yarn, would she make me one too?
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
-The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
-Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
-Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
-Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.
If you voted for Bill Clinton in ’96, you can’t shit here … your asshole is in Washington.
-Blind Pig, Ann Arbor,Michigan.
Please refrain from throwing toothpicks in the toilet!
Remember: CRABS CAN POLE VAULT!!!!!
–Washroom wall on I-81.
Make love, not war. – Hell, do both, get married!
-Women’s restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
-Revolution Books. New York, New York.
A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.
-Women’s restroom, Dick’s Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
JESUS SAVES! But wouldn’t it be better if he had invested?
-Men’s restroom, American University. Washington, DC
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
-Men’s restroom, House of Representatives. Washington,D.C.
Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
-Inside toilet stall door, Men’s restroom, Country Club, San Francisco.
Express Lane: Five beers or less
-Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic’s. Phoenix, AZ.
You’re too good for him.
-Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s. Beverly Hills, California.
No wonder you always go home alone.
-Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s. Beverly Hills, Califronia.
I saw you take a shit. Now put it back.