Signs PMS is Coming

She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo.

She considers chocolate a major FDA food group.

She puts on one of those pads with “wings,” then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom.

She’s developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles.

She retains more water than Lake Superior.

She denies she’s in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and “chambers one.”

She buys you a new T-shirt — with a bulls-eye on the front.

You ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says, “All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?”

She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm.

She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets, and then mauls the manager because they’re out of Diet Coke.

Leave a Reply