Real Notices from Real Church Bullitens

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

Miss Charlene Mason sang “I Will Not Pass This Way Again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

Among needed items for Vacation Bible School: wooden bowels.

“Wise Up, 0 Men of God”

Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Tonight’s sermon – “What is hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice

The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

The agenda was adopted … the minutes were approved … the financial secretary gave a grief report.

Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

The “Over 60s Choir” will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.

Missionary from Africa named Bertha Belch is speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Announcement: “Come tonight and hear Barbara Belch all the way from Africa.”

Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: “The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals.”

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