CLINTON VIRUS: Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

VIAGRA VIRUS: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

LEWINSKY VIRUS: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS: Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS: Disks can no longer be inserted.

TITANIC VIRUS: (A strain of the Lewinsky Virus) Your whole computer goes down (but I think “we go on”).

DISNEY VIRUS: Everything in your computer goes Goofy :}.

PROZAC VIRUS: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn’t care.

JOEY BUTTAFUCO VIRUS: Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAACK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

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