Top 10 Signs Your Lawyer Isn’t Working Out

10. Opening argument in which he called the prosecutor a “Doo-Doo Head” could hurt your case.
9. Tries to cheer you up by saying how great you look in orange.
8. Giggles hysterically at the mere mention of the Penal Code.
7. Keeps trying to call a witness named “Johnny, the Trouser Troll.”
6. The only question she can come up with during cross examination is, “Isn’t it true that you’re a lying bastard?”
5. Constantly raising objections to the “vibes” he’s getting from the jury.
4. Every time the judge sustains one of his objections, he screams, “Yahtzee!”
3. Instead of saying “Your honour, I object,” he now just rolls his eyes and says, “Whatever.”
2. Claims staring at your cleavage is a necessary part of the “discovery” processes.
1. Offers to waive his usual fees in exchange for your panties.

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