How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water.
Lawyer in a Tree
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Legal Afterlife
How can you tell there’s an after life for lawyers?
Because after they die, they lie still.
Lawyer at the Beach
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
Shark Attack
Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Roofing a House
How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
Depends on how thin you slice them.
Lawyer and a Tick
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
The tick stops draining you and drops off after you’re dead.
Lawyer and a Trampoline
What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
Lawyer Gone Bad
What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad?
Senator.
Lawyer IQ
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your honor.