Q: Why is a man more intelligent while he is having sex?
A: Because, he is plugged into a genius.
Grab My Breasts
A woman went into a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a toaster for refund because it didn’t work. The clerk told her that he couldn’t give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, “Grab my Breasts! Grab my breasts!”
The clerk didn’t know what to do, so he called the store manager who asked her if he can help.
She explained that she wanted to return the non-working toaster for refund, and he told her that he would not give her a refund because she bought the toaster on special.
Once again she yelled, “Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!”
The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that particular phrase.
She replied, “Because I like my breasts grabbed when I’m getting screwed!”
Two Nuns
Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.
One leans over to the other and says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other nun whispers, “It’s the cobblestones.”
Ladies Night
The other day, my friends and I went to a “Ladies Night Club.” One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.
When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek.
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill.
I’m worried about the way things are going, but fortunately she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks, again.
My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me! Now everyone’s attention is focused on me and the guy’s egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do?
Then the marketer in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home …
Difference Between Parachute and Condom
Two friends were walking along the road. One asked, “Do you know what happens when there is a hole in a parachute or a condom?
Second replied, “No.”
First one said, “When their is a hole in a parachute it takes life but when their is a hole in a condom it gives life.”
Dried Cherry’s
Q: If a dried grape is a raisin, a dried plum is a prune what do you call a dried cherry?
A: A Nun.
Intelligent Child
Their was a teacher appointed for second grade. The teacher was also a psychiatrist. So she decided to test her abilities on the children by asking a question, “Whoever thinks that he or she is stupid, stand up?
But no one stood up immediately. But after a while one kid stood up.
The teacher asked, “Do you think that you are stupid?”
The child replied, “No maam but I hate to see you standing all by yourself.”
Nun Biking
Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.
One leans over to the other and says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other nun whispers, “It’s the cobblestones.”
40-Year Curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Washington Survey
Q: Did you hear about the Washington survey? They asked a thousand women if they would sleep with the President.
A: 95% replied, “Not again.”