Sex One Liners

Q: How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

Q: What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
A: “How come?”

Q: What’s the definition of a teenager?
A: God’s punishment for enjoying sex.

Q: Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
A: “They’ll never see you coming.”

Q: What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
A: S&M&M.

Q: What do Kodak film have in common with condoms?
A: Both capture the moment.

My sister is asthmatic. Last week in the middle of an attack she got an obscene phone call. (pause) He said, “Did I call you or did you call me?”

Define Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q: What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A: A scrotum pole!

Q: What’s the ultimate in rejection?
A: When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Q: Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
A: There’d be too many thank you notes to write.

Q: What is every Amish woman’s private fantasy?
A: Two Mennonite!

Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge?
A: If you have a good hand, you don’t need a partner.

Q: Can you say three two letter words that denote small?
A: Is it in?

Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.

Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One … Men will screw anything.

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