Category: Miscellaneous


Psychology Test

The following test was developed by a combination of top U.S. and European psychologists. The results are extremely accurate in describing your personality with one simple question.

Which is your favorite Teletubbie:
A. Yellow
B. Purple
C. Green
D. Red

You must answer before scrolling down

(Scroll down for psychological profile.)
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

A. You chose the Yellow Teletubbie. You are gay.
B. You chose the Purple Teletubbie. You are gay.
C. You chose the Green Teletubbie. You are gay.
D. You chose the Red Teletubbie. You are gay.

Top 35 Oxymorons

35. State worker
34. Legally drunk
33. Exact estimate
32. Act naturally
31. Found missing
30. Resident alien
29. Genuine imitation
28. Airline food
27. Good grief
26. Government organization
25. Sanitary landfill
24. Alone together
23. Small crowd
22. Business ethics
21. Soft rock
20. Butt Head
19. Military Intelligence
18. Sweet sorrow
17. Compassionate Conservative
16. “Now, then …”
15. Passive aggression
14. Clearly misunderstood
13. Peace force
12. Extinct Life
11. Plastic glasses
10. Terribly pleased
9. Computer security
8. Political science
7. Tight slacks
6. Definite maybe
5. Pretty ugly
4. Rap music
3. Working vacation
2. Religious tolerance

And the number one top Oxymoron….

1. Microsoft Works

Thought Provoking

Deep Thoughts……by Dennis Miller

Don’t sweat the petty things and Don’t pet the sweaty things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And whose cruel idea was it to put an “S” in the word “Lisp”?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him

Caintukians

A Kentucky State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-75. He says to the driver, “Got any ID?”
The driver says, “Bout what?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What’s long and hard on a Kentucky football player?
A: First grade!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Kentucky State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Eastern Kentucky?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Frankfort, Kentucky burned down?
A: Yep. Pert’ near took out the whole trailer park.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new law recently passed in Eastern Kentucky: When a couple gets divorced, they’re still brother and sister.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What’s the best thing to ever come out of Kentucky?
A: I-75.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Kentuckians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, what’cha got in th’ bag?”
“Jus’ some chickens.”
“If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?”
“Shoot, ya guesses right and I’ll give you both of them.”
“OK. Ummmmm . . . five?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do a divorce in Eastern Kentucky, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody’s fixin’ to lose them a trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do folks in Eastern Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: ‘Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do you get when you have 32 Eastern Kentuckians in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.