Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
Because people could not tell which side to spit on.
Vampire Law
If a vampire bites a lawyer, isn’t that cannibalism?
Lawyer’s Contraceptive
What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
Their personalities.
Lawyer and Sperm
What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.
Lawyers Kitty
Why do lawyers never take their cats to the beach?
Their cats keep trying to bury them with sand.
Hijacked Lawyers
Did you hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.
Lawyer Crosses the Road
Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To get to the car accident on the other side.
God vs. Lawyer
What is the difference between God and a lawyer?
God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.
Legal Word Processor
Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.
Lawyers and a Bus
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
Never enough.