A man goes to the doctors and says, “Doctor, doctor it hurts when I touch here, here, and here. What is wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “I think you have broken your finger!”
What Kind of Kootchie do you have?
A-1 Steak Sauce Kootchie: Yeah, It’s that important
Apple Jack’s Kootchie: We eat what we like
Apple Jack’s Kootchie: But they don’t taste like apples
Carnation Instant Breakfast Kootchie: You’re gonna love it in an instant
Chili’s Kootchie: I want my baby back……
Coca-Cola Kootchie: Have a coke and a smile
Dell Kootchie: Easy as Dell
Discover Card Kootchie: Discover the possibilities
Ford Kootchie: Have you driven a ford lately?
Fruit Loops Kootchie: Follow your nose…..
Golden Crisp Kootchie: Can’t get enough of that golden crisp
Herbal Essences Kootchie: Yes, Yes, YES!!!
Hidden Valley Ranch: Taste is everything
Hostess Kootchie: Hey, Where’s the creme filling?
Hostess Kootchie 2: Now that’s the stuff
Jell-o Kootchie: There’s always room for jello
Kool-Aid Kootchie: Oh Yeah
Lay’s Kootchie: Get your own Bag
Life Savers Kootchie: So full of life (savers)
Mastercard Kootchie: For everything else there’s mastercard
Mercury Kootchie: Imagine yourself in a mercury
Mcdonald’s Kootchie: I’m lovin’it
Mcdonald’s Kootchie: Change is good
Milk Kootchie: Got Milk
Nintendo 64 Kootchie: Get in or get out
Oreo’s Kootchie: Unlock the magic
Pepto Bismol Kootchie: Pink does more than you think
Playstation 2 Kootchie: Live in your world, play in ours
Pokemon Kootchie: Gotta Catch Em’ All
Pork Kootchie: The other white meat
Reese’s Kootchie: There’s no wrong way to eat a reese’s
Sara Lee Kootchie: Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee
Sherwin Williams Kootchie: Where to get it
Skittles Kootchie: Taste the Rainbow
Snicker’s Kootchie: Hungry, Why wait
Subway Kootchie: Eat fresh
Super Soaker Kootchie: Wetter is better
Tressame Kootchie: Ooh Laa Laa
Twix Kootchie: The CreamyChewyCaramelChocolateyCrunchyCookie
Tyson’s Kootchie: Feeding you like family
Visine Kootchie: Get’s the red out
Wendy’s Kootchie: Eat great even late
Zip-lock Kootchie: Designed with you in mind
Yo Daddy
Yo Daddy is so bald that when he when he wears a turtle neck, he looks like a broken condom.
99
A guy is sitting on the side of the road saying “99 99 99”.
A blonde woman walks up and says, “Hi, what’s your name?”
The guy says, “99 99 99”.
The blonde sees a butterfly and runs after the butterfly onto the road and gets hit by a car. The man says, “99 100 100”.
Death Bed Truths
A man was on his death bed. His wife was stroking his hand lovingly and speaking gentle words to him for the last time.
“I gotta tell you something honey” said the man very weakly.
“No sweetie, it’s all right, relax” replied the woman.
The man took a deep breath and said, “I have to say that I cheated on you with your sister, your mother and your aunt!!”
The wife cooed, “Sssshhhh, I know, just relax and let the poison do its job.”
Your mama
Your mamma is so fat it takes 2 airplane flights, 3 trains and 6 buses to get to her good side.
Yo Mamma
Yo momma is so fat she thought the school bus was a Twinkie.
talking animals
Two horses start talking to each other and the first one says, “I keep coming last in my race and I’m knackered.”
The next one replies, “Me too I feel like dog food!”
Just then a dog walks by and says, “What your problem is is that you keep on sprinting at the start and you are too tired you should pace yourselves.
Then the 1st horse says, “Bugger me, a talking dog!”
Yo Mamma is so Old
Yo mamma is so old I told her to act her age and she died.
Saddam’s Death
Q: What did one of Saddam’s sons say to the other son when their father was killed?
A: “BAG DAD!!”