Twas the night before Christmas
And all throught the house
Every creature was stirring
Even the mouse
The stockings weren’t hung
They were thrown on a chair
And as for St. Nick
Nobody cared
The tree was all trimmed
With reefer and holly
And all in the house
Were drunk and quite jolly
Mom in the whorehouse
And Dad smokin’ grass
And I’d just settled down
For a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter
I sprang from my piece
To see what was the matter
When out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
It must be St. Nick
He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
The fucker had fell
He filled all the stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dildo
For my brother the queer
He flew back up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The son-of-a-bitch
Blew my chimney apart
And I heard him exclaim
As he rode out of site
Piss on you all, and have a shitty ass night!!!!!