Short Runway

Paddy and Murphy are flying the 10.30 Aer Lingus flight from Heathrow to Dublin.

As they come in over the East Coast of Ireland … the following conversation ensues …

“Sheeeezzz.” said Paddy, “Will ye look at how short dat runway is.”

“You’re not kiddin’, Paddy” replied Murphy.

“Dis is gonna be one a’ de trickiest landings you’re ever gonna see” said Paddy.

“You’re not kiddin’, Paddy” replied Murphy.

“Right Murphy. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse” said Paddy.

“Right, I’ll be doing dat” replied Murphy.

“And den ye put de flaps down straight away” said Paddy.

“Right, I’ll be doing dat” replied Murphy.

“And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can” said Paddy.

“Right, I’ll be doing dat” replied Murphy.

“And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a’ your soul” said Paddy.

“I be doing dat already” replied Murphy.

So they approached the runway with Paddy and Murphy full of nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Murphy put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul.

Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Murphy and everyone on board.

As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Murphy, “Dat has gotta be de shortest bloomin’ runway I have EVER seen in me whole life.”

Murphy looked out the side window and replied, “Yeah Paddy, but look how flippin’ wide it is.”

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