Drunks

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Get everyone here a drink on me, and get one for yourself too.” The bartender pours a round of drinks, including one for himself, then says to the drunk, “That will be $45.” The drunk said, “I don’t have any money.” The bartender takes the drunk outside and beats the shit out of him.

The next night the same drunk walks into the bar and says to the bartender — “Get everyone here a drink on me, and one for yourself too.” The bartender thinks, this guy can’t be that stupid to come in here two nights in a row with no money, so he pours a round, has one himself, bumps the guy and says, “That will be $50.” The drunk says, “I don’t have any money.” The bartender takes the drunk outside and beats the shit out of him again.

The next night, same drunk walks into the bar and tells the bartender to get a round for everyone. The bartender says, “What not one for myself?” To which the drunk replied, “Hell no, you get too mean when you drink.”

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