The CEO of Tyson Foods manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, “Your eminence, we have an offer for you. Tyson Foods is prepared to donate $100 million dollars to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken.'”
The Pope responds, “That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord – it must not be changed.”
“Well,” says the Tyson man, “we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer to $300 million dollars. All we require is that you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken.’ Again, the Pope replies, “That, my son, is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed.”
Finally, the Tyson guy says, “Your Holiness, we at Tyson Foods respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate $500 million dollars – that’s half a billion dollars – to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken.’ Please consider it.” And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. “There is some good news,” he announces, “and some bad news.”
“The good news is that the Church has come into $500 million dollars.”
“And the bad news, your eminence?” asks a Cardinal.
“We’re losing the Wonderbread account.”