The only thing the IRS hasn’t taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that …
40% of the time, it’s hanging around unemployed;
20% of the time it’s pissed off;
30% of the time it’s hard up; and,
10% of the time it’s in the hole.
On top of this, it has two dependants and they are both nuts.
Accordingly, starting January 1, 2002, penises will be taxed according to size. To determine the category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information on Page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the standard 1040P form:
10 to 12 inches Luxury Tax —> $50.00
8 to 10 inches Pole Tax –> $30.00
6 to 8 inches Privilege Tax –>$15.00
4 to 6 inches Nuisance Tax –> $5.00
NO CHARGE FOR UNDER FOUR INCHES. EXTENSIONS NOT CURRENTLY AVAILABLE. OVER 12 INCHES MUST FILE CAPITAL GAINS.