* CATS: The other white meat
* Dain bramaged
* Don’t be sexist – broads hate that
* Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway
* Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
* Boldly going nowhere
* CAUTION – Driver legally blonde!
* Heart Attacks…God’s Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
* He’s not dead, He’s electroencephalographically challenged
* Honk if you’ve never seen an Uzi fired from a car window!
* How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
* I’m an imbecile and I vote
* Money Isn’t Everything… But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
* If you lived in your car, you’d be home by now
* Saw it… Wanted it… Had a fit… Got it!
* WARNING! Driver carries only $20.00 in ammunition
* If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
* Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re a butthead.
* Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
* You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me not you!
* JESUS SAVES…He Passes It To Gretzky…Gretzky Shoots. He Scores!
* Jesus is coming! Look busy!
* You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
* Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
* My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
* Grow your own dope, plant a man
* All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
* I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
* WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
* I need someone really bad … Are you really bad?
* All men are idiots … I married their king.
* The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
* IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
* We are born naked, wet, and hungry … Then things get worse.