One for the Ladies

Men are like … Coffee … The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like … Commercials … You can’t believe a word they say.

Men are like … Computers … Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like … Coolers … Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like … Curling irons … They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.

Men are like … Government bonds … They take so long to mature.

Men are like … Horoscopes … They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like … Lawn Mowers … If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it.

Men are like … Lava lamps … Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like … Mascara … They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like … Mini skirts … If you’re not careful, they’ll creep up your legs.

Men are like … Cement … After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like … Plungers … They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like … Popcorn … They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like … Snowstorms … You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

Men are like … Vacations … They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like … Weather … Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Men are like … Department Stores … Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like … Chocolate Bars … Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like … Laxatives … They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like … Parking spots … The good ones are already taken and what’s not is handicapped.

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