One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil …
The Devil: Why so glum?
Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell.
The Devil: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here … You a drinking’ man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
The Devil: Well you’re gonna love Mondays. On Mondays that’s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, beer … we drink until we throw up and then we drink some more! It doesn’t matter because you’re already dead!
Guy: Gee that sounds great.
The Devil: You a smoker?
The Devil: You’re going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer – who cares! You’re already dead!
The Devil: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.
The Devil: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want … blackjack, roulette, poker, whatever … If you lose your shirt … who cares!
The Devil: You into drugs?
Guy: You don’t mean …
The Devil: Yes, Thursdays are drug days. Help yourself to a great all the drugs that your want! Who cares … you’re dead!
Guy: I never realized Hell was such a swingin’ place!!
The Devil: You gay?
The Devil: Ooooh – you’re gonna hate Fridays …