In the beginning God created man, and placed him in the Garden of Eden. But man was lonely, so God made a woman out of the man’s rib. God commanded them, “Eat from any tree in the garden, except for the apple tree.”
Everything went just as God would’ve wanted it, for the first three weeks.
Then, the woman’s period started. God told the woman, “You must go out and collect mosses and other absorbant materials, and fashion them in the way I show you, and wear this between your legs, changing it daily.” At first the woman complied, but she found it to be horribly messy, extremely inconvenient, and stunk like rotting meat, and on top of that her stomach was hurting, and she was in a REALLY FOUL MOOD.
Then, that evening, after a day of soil tilling, the man went up to the woman and said, “Did you get anything for dinner?” The woman, being in a foul mood, said, “No, I didn’t. If you want something to eat, get it yourself.” The man was shocked, that the woman apparently hadn’t done anything all day, and insisted that she go out right away and pick some fruit for dinner.
So, the woman went to the apple tree, yanked the fruit from the branch, brought it back, and threw it at the man, screaming “HERE’S YOUR GODDAM DINNER!”
And the rest is history