What Did Santa Say?

It was with particular urgency that little Johnny dragged his mother to the toy department of a big Sydney department store at Christmas.

Mother quickly steered Johnny into the line of children waiting to talk to Santa, but Johnny was far more interested in the hobby horse. As soon as his mother relaxed her vigilance for a moment, Johnny vanished from the Santa Queue and began rocking back and forth on the hobby horse.

His mother noticed his absence, and after a quick, frantic search, spotted him on the horse. She let him rock for a few minutes, then told him it was time to get off. Johnny ignored her. She began to beg; Johnny paid no attention. She began to make promises of chocolates, etc., if only Johnny would get off the hobby horse. He stuck his nasty little tongue out at her.

Then Santa himself, who had been watching this little family drama out of the corner of his eye, stepped over and said to Johnny’s mother, “Perhaps I can persuade your son to co-operate.”

“I doubt that,” said the mother, “But you’re welcome to try.”

Santa, with a big smile, whispered quietly into Johnny’s ear. Johnny’s eyes grew very large, he quickly slid off the horse and took his mother’s hand.

Together, with no fuss, they left the store. As they drove home, Mama asked Johnny what Santa had whispered to him. Johnny was silent. Mama began offering bribes (toys and Chocolate cake) if Johnny would only tell Mama what Santa’s words were.

Johnny turned pale and wouldn’t utter a word. What had Santa said?

Johnny’s mother was determined to find out. She had never been able to get the kid to obey that easily, and decided it was worth a great deal of effort on her part to discover what magic Santa Claus had used on Johnny. She continued to bribe him with a soft voice and much cajolery, and Johnny’s stubborn streak finally faded. What did Santa say?

Johnny now answered: “He said, ‘Listen, you little son of a bitch, if you don’t climb your ass the hell down off that horse right this second, I’m going to kick the living piss out of you!'”

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