Dating and Marriage

When you are dating … Farting is never an issue
When you are married … You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband … at all times

When you are dating … He takes you out to have a good time
When you are married … He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?”

When you are dating … He holds your hand in public
When you are married … He flicks your ear in public

When you are dating … A Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad
When you are married … A King size bed feels like an army cot

When you are dating … You are turned on at the sight of him naked
When you are married … You think to yourself … “Was he ALWAYS this hairy?”

When you are dating … You enjoyed foreplay
When you are married … You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone?”

When you are dating … He hugs you, when he walks by you … for no reason
When you are married … He grabs your boob any chance he gets

When you are dating … You picture the two of you together, growing old together
When you are married … You wonder who will die first

When you are dating … Just looking at him makes you feel all mushy”
When you are married … When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

When you are dating … He knows what the “hamper” is
When you are married … The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area

When you are dating … He understands if you “aren’t in the mood”
When you are married … He says “It’s your job.”

When you are dating … He understands that you have “male” friends
When you are married … He thinks they are all out to steal you away

When you are dating … He likes to “discuss” things
When you are married … He develops a “blank” stare

When you are dating … He calls you by name
When you are married … He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She.”

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