Q: What do you call a blonde with one brain cell?
A: Unique
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant
You know Blondes are just like good lawyers, you keep on hearing about them, but you never see them.
Q: Did yah hear about the blonde that was stuck at the Mall for five hours?
A: She said that she was trapped on the escallator.
Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”
The first explained, “If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away ’cause it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in!”
The second blonde got completely upset and yelled, “You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house!”
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Stick her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.
One day a blonde woman phones to a major company asking for a Mr. Smith. The receptionist who happens to be blonde also answers the phone.
“Hi,” said the blonde woman. “Is Mr. Smith there?”
The blonde receptionist is quite shaken but responds that Mr. Smith had died several months earlier.
“Well, is his son there?” asks the blonde woman.
“Yes. One moment …”
A blonde walks into an elevator and says to the guy in there, “T-G-I-F”. He says, “no S-H-I-T”. She says, “no T-G-I-F”. He says, no “S-H-I-T”. She says, “no” with a big smile on her face, “T-G-I-F”. He says, “no” with a big smile on his face, “S-H-I-T”. She says, “no, T-G-I-F, Thank God It’s Friday”. He says, “no, S-H-I-T, Sorry Hon It’s Thursday”.
There was this blonde and she was driving back from the beauty parlor, where she just had her hair dyed black, when she saw a sheep herder and sheep in the middle of the road. She pulled over and said to the sheep herder, “If I can guess how many sheep you have in your flock can I take one home?” The sheep herder being a betting man said, “Yeah sure
One day there was this blonde driving home from work and she saw this other blonde out the middle of a field trying to row a boat.
The blonde stopped the car and got out. She walked over to the edge of the field and yelled, “You know
Q: What does a blonde use for birth control?
A: Brown hair-dye
One day a blonde in a red corvette was driving down a road swirving all over the place. A cop saw her and pulled her over.
He said, “Miss, may I please see your license and registration?”
“What’s that?” said the blonde.
“Well, one you keep in your glove box and the other you keep in your wallet.”
“Okay.” After looking around for a while, she finds them and shows them to the cop.
“Will you please step out of the vehicle?” said the cop. He then draws a line on the sidewalk with chalk. He says, “Get in that circle and don’t get out until I tell you to.” So she gets in the circle and he starts looking around in the car. He accidentally dents it and she laughs.
He says,”What you think that’s funny?” She just keeps on laughing.
So he goes over and kicks the door to make an even bigger dent. She laughs even harder. So then he goes over to all the tires and pokes them with his pen to flatten them. She kept right on laughing. So, not knowing what she was laughing at, he goes over and smashes all the windows. She laughed longer and harder. He says,”My God! What’s the matter with you? I just wrecked your whole car and your laughing!”
The blonde says, “What you didn’t know was, the four times you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle.”
Q: Why don’t blondes ever eat any pickles?
A: They can’t get there head out of the jars.