Category: Blonde


Travelling Blonde

A dumb blonde boards an airplane that is headed for Las Vegas. She is really determined that she will win lots of money, so much that she takes a seat in first class when her ticket is for coach. When the flight attendant is checking tickets and comes to the blonde she says, “Ma’am your ticket is for coach class, you must move back.”

The blonde replies “I’m headed for Las Vegas and I am going to win lots and lots of money.”

The flight attendant, pretty annoyed goes back to the pilot and explains the situation. The pilot comes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear. Shocked, the blonde gets up quickly and heads back to her assigned seat.

The flight attendant, very surprised, asked the pilot what he said to her?

He replied, “I told her first class was not going to Las Vegas.”

Blonde Mother

There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde talking about their children. The red head said, “I am so dissappointed in my daughter. I walked into her room the other day and found a package of cigarettes on the ground … I can’t believe she smokes.”

The brunette said, “I know exactly how you feel. I walked into my daughter’s closet the other day and found an empty vodka bottle … I can’t believe she drinks.”

Then the blonde said, “I know exactly what both of you are talking about. I walked into MY daughter’s room and found an empty condom wrapper on the ground … I can’t believe she has a penis.”

Hard-Boiled Defective

Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”

The first explained, “If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away ’cause it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in!”

The second blonde got completely upset and yelled, “You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house!”

Like father, like son

One day a blonde woman phones to a major company asking for a Mr. Smith. The receptionist who happens to be blonde also answers the phone.

“Hi,” said the blonde woman. “Is Mr. Smith there?”

The blonde receptionist is quite shaken but responds that Mr. Smith had died several months earlier.

“Well, is his son there?” asks the blonde woman.

“Yes. One moment …”

Messed Up Days

A blonde walks into an elevator and says to the guy in there, “T-G-I-F”. He says, “no S-H-I-T”. She says, “no T-G-I-F”. He says, no “S-H-I-T”. She says, “no” with a big smile on her face, “T-G-I-F”. He says, “no” with a big smile on his face, “S-H-I-T”. She says, “no, T-G-I-F, Thank God It’s Friday”. He says, “no, S-H-I-T, Sorry Hon It’s Thursday”.

Sheep Blonde

There was this blonde and she was driving back from the beauty parlor, where she just had her hair dyed black, when she saw a sheep herder and sheep in the middle of the road. She pulled over and said to the sheep herder, “If I can guess how many sheep you have in your flock can I take one home?” The sheep herder being a betting man said, “Yeah sure