Q: Why is being in the military like a blow job?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Category: Body / Anatomy / Health
Eye Contact
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
Rope
One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. After the wedding, they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex. The new bride asks, “What are they doing, honey?” The husband answers, “They’re roping!” She replies, “Oh, I see!” After a few more hours of driving they pass two horses having sex. Again the bride asks, “What are they doing, honey?” The husband answers, “They’re roping!” She replies, “Oh, I see!” Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they started to explore each other’s body. The bride discovers her husband’s penis. “What is that?” she asks. “That’s my rope,” he answers. She slides her hands down further and gasps, “What are those?” she asks. “They’re my knots,” he answers. Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes the bride says, “Stop honey, wait a minute! Her husband asks, “What’s the matter honey, am I hurting you? “No,” the bride replies, “undo those knots. I need more rope!”
Beach Learning
A mother and father took their six year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had breasts bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why.
She told her son, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger members than his dad.
His mother replied, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”
Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, “Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.”
Animals in Panty Hose
Q: How many animals can fit into one pair of pantyhose?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, and a fish that none can find.
Thick Fingers
Q: What would you call a lesbian with thick fingers?
A: Well hung.
Male Arousal
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He’s breathing.
Blonde Paint
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It’s not real bright, but it’s cheap, and spreads easy.
Bra Choices
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”
“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.
“Type?” inquires the man, “There is more than one type?”
“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material.
“Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,” replied the salesclerk.
Confused, the man asked what are the types?
The saleslady replied, “The Catholic Type. The Salvation Army Type, and the Baptist type. Which One do you need?”
Still confused the man asked, “What is the difference between them?”
The lady responded, “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, The Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.”
Ship and a Woman
Q: What is the difference between a Ship and a Woman?
A. One cuts through the water, the other waters through the cut.