Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Tag: One-Liner
Husband Mowers
Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time.
New Husband and Dog
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Government Bonds
Q: What’s the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Bonds mature.
Changing Toilet Paper
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don’t know, it has never happened.
Sensitive, Caring, and Good Looking Men
Q: Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A: Those men all have boyfriends already!
Eye Contact
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
Chasing Women
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same thing that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Man with Everything
Q: What should you give a man who has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it.
Animals in Panty Hose
Q: How many animals can fit into one pair of pantyhose?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, and a fish that none can find.