Q: Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who is saved?
A: The whole nation.
Tag: One-Liner
Ice Cube with a Hole
Two drunks are in a tavern sitting at the bar, staring into their drinks.
One gets a curious look on his face and asks, “Hey, Pete, you ever seen an ice cube with a hole in it before?” “Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years.”
Blonde Paint
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It’s not real bright, but it’s cheap, and spreads easy.
Marksman and Owl
Q: What is the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
A. One Shoots but does not hit, the other hoots but does not Shit.
Ship and a Woman
Q: What is the difference between a Ship and a Woman?
A. One cuts through the water, the other waters through the cut.
Touring Blonde
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, “Wow — I can’t believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!”
Tahoe Weather
Q: What’s the weather like in Tahoe?
A: Gloomy all over and Sonny around one tree.
Expense of Divorce
Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it’s worth it.
Eight Days of Bliss
Q: What is eight straight days of oral sex?
A: Hanukkah Lewinsky.
Webster’s Dictionary of Windows 95
Windows 95 ( n.) 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor written by a 2-bit company that can’t stand 1 bit of competition.