Nose Picking Glossary

THE KIDDIE PICK … When you’re by yourself and you uninhibitedly twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is, there’s no time limit!

CAMOUFLAGED KIDDIE PICK … When, in the presence of other people, you wrap your forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the smile.

FAKE NOSE SCRATCH … When you make believe you’ve got an itch but you’re really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.

MAKING A MEAL OUT OF IT … You do it so furiously, and for so long, you’re probably entitled to dessert.

SURPRISE PICKINGS … When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurtling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.

AUTOPICK … The kind you do in a car, when no one’s looking.

PICK YOUR BRAINS … Done in private, this is the one where your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum.

PICK AND SAVE … When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot so they don’t catch on to what you did.

PICK AND ROLL … No explanation needed.

PICK AND FLICK … Ditto.

PICK AND STICK … You wanted it to be a “Pick and Flick,” but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip.

PAYDIRT … The kind where you remove a piece of snot so big, it improves your breathing by 90%.

[Total: 0   Average: 0/5]

Leave a Reply