New Virus Alert

You’re always hearing about new computer viruses running around. Here are some to watch out for. BEWARE!

LEWINSKY VIRUS
–Sucks all the memory out of your computer … then e-mails everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
–Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS
–Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
–Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
–Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
–Disks can no longer be inserted.

DISNEY VIRUS
–Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS
–Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS
–Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
–Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAAAAK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
–Re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

VIAGRA VIRUS
–Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

CLINTON VIRUS
–Gives you a six inch hard drive with NO memory.

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