Category: Blonde

These two blondes went fishing. They rented a boat and rowed out into the middle of the lake. They were doing really well-pulling fish in left and right for about 3 hours. One blonde even had to go rent another boat to hold all the fish they were pulling in!!!

“Mark this spot somehow,” one blonde said to the other. “I would like to fish this well again, this seems to be our lucky spot!” she said beaming. The other blonde smiled proudly and replied, “already did, when you went for the second boat!” “Cool!”

So the blondes continued for another couple hours. After that, they got tired, so they turned in the boats and packed up the fish. On the way back to their shared apartment one blonde said curiously, “How’d you mark the spot?”

“I put a BIG ‘x’ mark on the bottom of the boat!”

The other blonde smacked her in the back of the head.

“You idiot!” she exclaimed. “What if we don’t get the same boat?”

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.

“Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied.

“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?”

“No, Silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”

“So then?” asked the doctor.

“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”

“So then?”

“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”

A guy is sitting on the side of the road saying “99 99 99”.

A blonde woman walks up and says, “Hi, what’s your name?”

The guy says, “99 99 99”.

The blonde sees a butterfly and runs after the butterfly onto the road and gets hit by a car. The man says, “99 100 100”.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn’t. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.

There were three people on an island a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. They had to swim twenty miles to get to a civilization. The redhead goes first and swims five miles and dies. The brunette goes next and swims fourteen miles and dies. The blonde goes last. She swims nineteen miles decides she get tried and swims back to the island.

There is a red head a blonde and brunette that were all three sentenced to death.

So, the soldiers all line up and they stick the red head out there. The captain says, “ready, aim, …” and the red head yells, “earthquake”. They all run and the red head gets away.

So, they come back the next day and it’s the brunettes turn to be sentenced for death so the captain for the second time says, “ready, aim, …” and the brunette yells, “tornado”. So, they all run and she gets away.

The third day they came back for the blonde’s turn to die and they got lined up and the captain for the third time yells, “ready, aim, …” and the blonde yells out, “FIRE!!”