Category: Body / Anatomy / Health


Top 10 Marketing Slogans for Viagra

10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight
7. Viagra, Home of the whopper
6. Viagra, It plumps when you take ’em
5. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
4. Viagra, Tastes great, more filling!
3. Viagra, Ten inches long … and growing.
2. Viagra, We work harder, so you don’t have to!

And the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:

1. This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?

The New Tattoo

A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, “Where the hell have you been?”

“I was out getting a tattoo.”

“A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?”

“I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis.”

What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?”

“Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow … Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money … And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.”

Doing The Laundry

An elderly couple had a happy marriage and what made it so very good was that they had invented a phrase to describe the act of love, so that there was never any vulgarity in their talk. Their metaphor for the act of love was “Doing the Laundry.”

One day when Cora Jean, the wife, was vacuuming the living room, Tom Sam, the husband, was watching her with great interest. She was bending over to get dirt from the corners of the room, and stretching up to get dust from the tall lamps. Tom Sam was watching with great interest.

Then Tom Sam said to Cora Jean, “Darling, how about if we do a little laundry?”

Cora Jean said, with reluctance, “Sweetheart, I just have to get this house ready for our guests this weekend.” So then she continued her cleaning, and Tom Sam went off about his business.

That night when they went to bed, Cora Jean said, “Sweetheart, what about that laundry you mentioned earlier?”

To which Tom Sam said, “Darling, I just had a small load, so I decided to do it by hand.”

Marines New Job

A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” ask the interviewer.

“Yes, I was a marine,” responded the applicant.

“Did you see any active duty?” He was asked.

“I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability.”

“May I ask what happened?” he was asked.

“Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles.” The marine said.

“You’re hired. You can start Monday at 10 am.”

“When does everyone else start? I don’t want any preferential treatment because of my disability.” The marine said.

“Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first.”

Stripper’s Accident

A stripper, in a hurry to get home, leaves the club with nothing on but a loose coat. As she crosses the street, a drunk driver skids around the corner and hits the stripper, sending her flying into the air and landing unconscious on her back, with her charms exposed to the world.

As a crowd gathers, a gentleman places his hat upon the stripper’s crotch in order to minimize her exposure. In the meantime, the drunk driver, hardly aware he just hit someone, staggers over to see what all the fuss is about. Noticing the near naked woman lying exposed on the street, he points to the strategically placed hat and slurs in a loud voice, “Well, the first thing we gotta do is get that guy outta there!”

First Female Trucker

This woman goes to a truck yard to get a job as a truck driver in construction.

The head guy says: “I don’t know lady … you’ll be the first woman. Before I can hire you I’ll have to see if you fit in with the guys.

I have three questions for you …

1. “Do you drink?”
She replies, “At least a six pack a day”

2. “Do you swear?”
She replies, “Shit yeah, all the damn time!”

“OK, then, I got only one more question … you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”

She replies, “No — but I’ve been swung around by my tits a few times!”