Office Phrases Explained

It is in process:
So wrapped in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless.

Will advise you in due course:
If we figure it out, we’ll let you know.

We are aware of it:
We had hoped that the fool who started it would have forgotten about it by this time.

It’s under consideration:
Never heard of it.

Under active consideration:
We are looking in the files for it.

We are making a survey:
We need more time to think of an answer.

Let’s get together on this:
I’m assuming you’re as confused as I am.

Please note and initial:
Let’s spread the responsibility for this.

Give us the benefit of your present thinking:
We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we have already decided to do.

Give us your interpretation:
Your warped opinion will be pitted against your adversary’s good sense.

Democrat Salesman

A salesman was traveling between towns and got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. Checking the spare, he found that it was flat, too. His only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the nearest town.

The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a pickup truck.

He yelled out the window to the salesman, “Need a lift?”

“Yes, I do,” replied the salesman.

“Are you a Democrat or Republican?” asked the old man.

“A Republican,” replied the salesman.

“Get screwed!” yelled the old man as he sped off.

The next to stop rolled down the window and asked the same question, to which the salesman gave the same answer, “Republican.” The driver gave him the finger and drove off.

The salesman thought it over, and decided that maybe he should change his approach, since there appeared to be few Republicans in this area.

The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful
blonde. She smiled seductively and asked him if he were a Democrat or Republican.

“Democrat!” shouted the salesman.

“Hop in!” replied the blonde.

Driving down the road, he can’t help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to him – the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continues to ride higher and higher up
her thighs.

Finally, he yells “STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!”

She slams on the brakes, and, as soon as the car stops, he jumps out.

“What’s the matter?” she asks.

“I can’t take it!” he replies. “I’ve only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to sleep with a woman I’ve only just met!”