Category: Body / Anatomy / Health


The BBQ

A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in the garden together. As the wife was pulling weeds, bent over, the husband said, “Honey your butt is getting big. I bet it’s as big as the gas grill now”. The husband feels he needs to prove his point and gets a yardstick, measured the grill and then measured his wife’s butt. “Yep, he said, just what I thought, about the same size.”

The wife got very incensed and decided to let him do the gardening alone. She went inside and didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day. That evening when they went to bed, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, “How about a little sex baby?”

The wife rolled over and turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. “What the matter?” he asked? To which she replied, “Surely you don’t think I am going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie, do you?”

What Kind of Kootchie do you have?

A-1 Steak Sauce Kootchie: Yeah, It’s that important
Apple Jack’s Kootchie: We eat what we like
Apple Jack’s Kootchie: But they don’t taste like apples

Carnation Instant Breakfast Kootchie: You’re gonna love it in an instant
Chili’s Kootchie: I want my baby back……
Coca-Cola Kootchie: Have a coke and a smile

Dell Kootchie: Easy as Dell
Discover Card Kootchie: Discover the possibilities

Ford Kootchie: Have you driven a ford lately?
Fruit Loops Kootchie: Follow your nose…..

Golden Crisp Kootchie: Can’t get enough of that golden crisp

Herbal Essences Kootchie: Yes, Yes, YES!!!
Hidden Valley Ranch: Taste is everything
Hostess Kootchie: Hey, Where’s the creme filling?
Hostess Kootchie 2: Now that’s the stuff

Jell-o Kootchie: There’s always room for jello

Kool-Aid Kootchie: Oh Yeah

Lay’s Kootchie: Get your own Bag
Life Savers Kootchie: So full of life (savers)

Mastercard Kootchie: For everything else there’s mastercard
Mercury Kootchie: Imagine yourself in a mercury
Mcdonald’s Kootchie: I’m lovin’it
Mcdonald’s Kootchie: Change is good
Milk Kootchie: Got Milk

Nintendo 64 Kootchie: Get in or get out

Oreo’s Kootchie: Unlock the magic

Pepto Bismol Kootchie: Pink does more than you think
Playstation 2 Kootchie: Live in your world, play in ours
Pokemon Kootchie: Gotta Catch Em’ All
Pork Kootchie: The other white meat

Reese’s Kootchie: There’s no wrong way to eat a reese’s

Sara Lee Kootchie: Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee
Sherwin Williams Kootchie: Where to get it
Skittles Kootchie: Taste the Rainbow
Snicker’s Kootchie: Hungry, Why wait
Subway Kootchie: Eat fresh
Super Soaker Kootchie: Wetter is better

Tressame Kootchie: Ooh Laa Laa
Twix Kootchie: The CreamyChewyCaramelChocolateyCrunchyCookie
Tyson’s Kootchie: Feeding you like family

Visine Kootchie: Get’s the red out

Wendy’s Kootchie: Eat great even late

Zip-lock Kootchie: Designed with you in mind

Tobbaco and 2 Hobos

There was a guy on the train that had to go to the bathroom. He asked the train conductor where the bathroom was. The train conductor replied that there wasn’t one. So the guy stuck his butt out the window to do his business.

At the same time there were these two hobos walking near the tracks. The poop flew and hit them both in the face. One hobo said to the other, “What kind of tobacco
is this?” The other hoboe replied back, Who knows but did you see the size of that guy’s cheeks?”

Married for 50 Years

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.”

“Yeah,” she replied, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.”

“I know,” the old man said,

“We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago.”

“Well,” Granny snickered, “What do you say, should we get naked?” The two then stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

“You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlessly replied, “My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” replied Gramps. “One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!”

The Olympic Joke

One guy went to the drugstore to buy some condoms. He asked, “What do you have?” The clerk replied, “We just got in some new ones for the olympics. There are gold, silver and bronze ones.” The customer said, “OK, I’ll take one of each.”

When he got home he told his wife, “I just got some new condoms for the Olympics. There are gold, silver and bronze ones. Which should I use?” His wife said “Silver.”

“Why’s that honey?”

“So you cum second.” she said with a smile.